Monday, June 17, 2013

Saying goodbye is tough

It is that time again when I have to leave one place for another. We all have to do it. And it always feels the same. When I first moved away from home; and then when I moved back out of the college dorms; and then when I moved out of my first apartment. But also the other times. All of those summer trips I have been so fortunate to take around the US and abroad.

Leaving really hits me hard. When you leave a place behind, you also leave behind a time and once you have left it, you won't get to go back again. Space and time swirl up together as one, and so I know that each time I shift my place in this world, I also shift to a new time in my life. A photograph, a scent in the air, a melody plunge you into the feeling of an old time for just a split second, but you are always in the present. 

Talking with a friend the other day, we decided that some people are particularly transient, and they just move around more. It has just always been this way for me, and I have more or less gotten used to it. I still mourn a little and cry when I say goodbye, because crying is all you can do in the face of the ticking of a clock. And it continues to tick, sadness fades, suddenly there you are in another city, another state, another country... Change occurs as a system, and one alteration brings change to all aspects of your life, but eventually its outward ripples will subside. That thought keeps me calm when it becomes time again for me to pack up and head out.  

When I had just moved to college and was having trouble, I remember my dad quoted one of his favorite movies and just said, "No matter where you go, there you are."And though it was a little off kilter, I always remembered that. I like to think of that quote and imagine the planet with me and all of the people I love on it, just being right where we are. If we are far away, it makes us seem closer. And then it makes me remember that I am exactly where I am: right here, right now. 

I move out of my apartment on Friday, and its coming up real quick. It really hit me today, prompting me to write this post. Saying goodbye to this place, to this time, is hard, but I know in my heart that good things are on the way. I am so blessed by my family and loved ones for all of the support I have. Sending love to everyone!! 

Thanks for reading~~